Brainy Pun Enthusiast Gifts

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

A Brain Drain

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

Weather forecast

Hell's Schlegel

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.