Pastoral Puns Gifts

They're short of staff!

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Chase me, chase me cows.

Support group for sheep.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"What should I say this is about?"

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

Early Ram Raids

"It's a working lunch."

'Go on and have fun, I'll keep an eye on him...'

"Uh-oh!"

'It's not stigmata but it might mean a win on the lottery!'

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

Shepherd and the Lost Sheep

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

My Day - Cow Today Magazine

A cattle baron.

'Regarding my Sunday sermon which you typed up, Ms. Sims...it's not 'Saddam and Gomorrah'...'

"Get ready...set...ruminate!"

'He did it for us.'

Cow Piercing.

"If you could eat only one type of grass for the rest of your life, what would you choose?"

"So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good."

Discount Church Mart

Jesus really does save.