Religious Pun Lovers Gifts

"We're a broad church"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Dogma

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

Om and Ommer

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Holy moly!"

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Pope Kimba XXIII.

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.