Biblical Puns Gifts

'No, no, no...this is Eric's ark, Noah's is three arks down.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Literary Canines.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

Noah Sent and Received the First Tweet

'Are they fresh?'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"I have NO EYE, DEER."

'He says its a subprime fruit we can have at an adjustable rate, what's the worst that could happen?'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"I feel a lot of societal pressure to be happy."

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

The doctor is INN

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...

'It's not stigmata but it might mean a win on the lottery!'

They're short of staff!

"Uh-oh!"

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

'I turned wine into water.'

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

A cattle baron.

'Regarding my Sunday sermon which you typed up, Ms. Sims...it's not 'Saddam and Gomorrah'...'

Matthew, Mark, Luke and 'John'.

'He only got this job because of who his dad is.'

'He did it for us.'

John 2:2.

"Look, all we're asking is to be treated as ordinary males and females!"

"So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good."

"Some cruise! It rained for the entire trip!"

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

The last word in Alphabet Soup.