Humor-loving Parishioner Gifts

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Why do parishioners only eat half their donuts???" "Partial indulgence."

Finger puppets in church.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

Church restrooms

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

A woman in prayer

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"He was much more effective in the field."

Minister Starts at a New Church

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Excommunicate Me.

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

Eucharist

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"There's someone sleeping in my pew, and she's still there!"