Pastoral Story Lover Gifts

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"Static cling."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'

'I still love you - I just think we need some time away from each other.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

Don't Walk on the Water

"Was she a roaming Catholic?"

"My Name is I AM, and I approve of this message."

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."