Biblical Narrative Lover Gifts

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Little Known Moments In History

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

Adam and Eve Arrested

So … how did you two meet?

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

'That looks tempting.'

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

'Do you have any coupons?'