Biblical Storytelling Lover Gifts

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Little Known Moments In History

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Adam and Eve Arrested

"Tell me the story about Jonah and the big fish again, Dad."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes