Biblical Narratives Lover Gifts

"Dad, please tell me again about that mass production and consumerism."

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Adam and Eve Arrested

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'That looks tempting.'

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

'Do you have any coupons?'

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark