Biblical Tale Lover Gifts

"God is out to get me."

Esther plots some extra humiliation for Haman at her party.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Little Known Moments In History

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Adam and Eve Arrested

Joseph and his coat

So … how did you two meet?

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden