Biblical Tale Lover Gifts

"God is out to get me."

Esther plots some extra humiliation for Haman at her party.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Little Known Moments In History

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Adam and Eve Arrested

Joseph and his coat

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden