Lover Of Biblical Tales Gifts

'Dad! The veterinarians are coming aboard!'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

Adam and Eve Arrested

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Joseph and his coat

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

So … how did you two meet?

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

Adam and Eve in Paradise

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."