Bible Tales Enthusiast Gifts

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Little Known Moments In History

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

The First Printed Bible

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Meet the Author

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Rocket Ark

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

Joseph and his coat