Bible Tales Enthusiast Gifts

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

Little Known Moments In History

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

The First Printed Bible

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'If you're omnipresent, why do I always have to climb way up here?'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Meet the Author

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

"Sure he's cute, Lord. . . He's just not what I had a mind for a companion!"

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Let your people go? - after all the trouble I went to getting them full employment?'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

Joseph and his coat

Rocket Ark

So … how did you two meet?

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."