Bible Story Enthusiasts Gifts

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Seriously?!! Three old guys, a sheep and a donkey?!! Worst. Birthday party. EVER!!!!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

The First Supper

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

Moses attempted to initiate the frog plague on his own.

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

"I have it on good authority and I'm telling you, as crazy as it sounds, there's 40 days of this stuff coming..."

"Adam, I think I must be allergic to that fruit we ate back in the garden!"

"We couldn't help ourselves. It was low-hanging fruit."

"Then I told Jonah, I'm a big fish not a whale, get your story straight."

'You mean Adam and Ever were streakers?'

"That one was reeally close! A little lower and to the left!"

The sheep on Noah's ark got bored and took up water skiing.

'Do you have a dental plan?'

'Ok. But explain to be again why I can't call it 'sex'.'

'Come on, come on, we haven't got all day.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

'Well! There's no need for that!'

'Well, to be quite frank, I'm very disappointed.'

Goliath's Widow.

'It's a girl!'

"The lions insisted."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Little Known Moments In History

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'