Bible Story Aficionados Gifts

'So you were born in a manger. This is a primitive area. I was born in a chicken coop.'

"I'll give them these for now, and tell them about keeping kosher later."

'The unicorns are gay!'

'I don't trust this hotel's manager. We better go back to the manager we saw a little while ago.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

So … how did you two meet?

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Moses' TV guide.

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

Forbidden Vegetable

"Daniel, I seem to have dropped my keys, could you look around and toss them up."