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Cockroach Bible Class: 'And God said 'let there be light'!'

'That 'Jonah' story sounded FISHY to me!'

'Seriously?!! Three old guys, a sheep and a donkey?!! Worst. Birthday party. EVER!!!!'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

The First Supper

'God, you did this to me you son of a bitch!'

Moses attempted to initiate the frog plague on his own.

"Eve, how come every leaf has fallen except yours?"

"Hit me one more time Balaam and I am contacting PETA."

"I have it on good authority and I'm telling you, as crazy as it sounds, there's 40 days of this stuff coming..."

"Adam, I think I must be allergic to that fruit we ate back in the garden!"

Moses parting rain.

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

"I think I see some eggs in here."

"We couldn't help ourselves. It was low-hanging fruit."

"Then I told Jonah, I'm a big fish not a whale, get your story straight."

'You mean Adam and Ever were streakers?'

"That one was reeally close! A little lower and to the left!"

The sheep on Noah's ark got bored and took up water skiing.

'Do you have a dental plan?'

'Ok. But explain to be again why I can't call it 'sex'.'

'Come on, come on, we haven't got all day.'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

'Well! There's no need for that!'

'Well, to be quite frank, I'm very disappointed.'

Goliath's Widow.

'It's a girl!'

"The lions insisted."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

Little Known Moments In History