Bible Story Lover Gifts

"Remember,this is a one-shot, not an entitlement."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

'Have you picked out a girl's name just in case?'

"I have a better idea! Let's squeeze the apple and ferment the juice!"

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

'I forget is it a star or a planet that blinks...'

'No, sorry, this isn't an oil tanker.'

'Are you sure? - I only remember creating TWO of them.'

"Here comes Methuselah and it looks like he's going to be complaining about his old age pains."

Autumn is my favorite season.

Jesus walks on water just as Moses parts the sea.

"Moses carried forty pound tablets down the mountain with no back brace? Where was OSHA?"

'You idiot, I said 'ark', not 'park'.'

'Neat! - This sounds like superhero stuff!'

'The Red Sea partings, today 8:34am and 4:26pm'

The Noah's Ark Conspiracy Theory: 'He built what? Oh, well that's just great...Now I have to figure out what to do with it and start all over.'

Young Boy Imagines Jesus was a Zombie.

King Solomon

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

"But what if, you know, the Canaanites ALSO comply with these?"

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

'The weather is slightly overcast this evening, so if you would just like to follow me...'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'If we were really wise men we wouldn't have six dozen wives...'

Noahs ark queneing signs

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'Then Mrs. Noah said, 'the next time we go on a cruise, we're going with my friends'.'

Kangroos on an Ark

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Well why did you put the cats next to the mice?'

Little Known Moments In History

"So Joshua, you just aim this at any wall and it will come tumbling down..."

Why the Unicorns went Extinct

'Well, Moses, that's how your website will look. But nothing is written in stone.'

'Ever heard of vibrate?'