Biblical Storytelling Fan Gifts

"I've had David practice his long throws in training!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

Sistine Selfie

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Regifts of the Magi

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

Joseph and his coat

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

Three Wise Men Fancy Dress.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"...and Adam and Eve were naked, so they had to leave the garden."

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."