Religious Story Lover Gifts

"I think I know why you've been so stuffed-up lately."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

Little Known Moments In History

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

Monkey's Ejected from the Garden of Eden

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

Pastoring for Dummies

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"