Religious Narrative Enthusiast Gifts

John Bunyan

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Holy Bible

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'S**t!'

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

"I think I know why you've been so stuffed-up lately."

Meanwhile, back on the Ark... 'OK, who brought the woodpeckers?!'

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

'He was just the same with my frankincense - more interested in the box!'

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

"Hopefully our species will survive this cruise."

Economic Forecast

'Have him do the snake trick again, Daddy!'

Consumer Protection Act.

Nightmares that Noah may have had.

Noah's Ark on a cruise ship.

''Adam point two oh'? - Don't you think she deserves a name of her own?'