Religious Story Lovers Gifts

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Regifts of the Magi

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

'We were hoping You'd just say 'Be fruitful and multiply' again.'

Pastoring for Dummies

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

"Its risk free, we've got Goliath"

'Can I hold? Hey, I've got 40 days and 40 nights.'

This is our great new cruise to the Middle East - 40 days and 40 nights.

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'

Man mistakes new ironclad warship for Noah's Ark

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

Self raising Lazarus.

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.