Religious Narratives Aficionado Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

John Bunyan

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"When you get a minute, I have some kitchen shelves you can put up."

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'I don't know, son, if Noah was an animal lover. I imagine he started out that way.'

And on the eigth day god has a blob of clay left over, so he created...

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Monk confessing to a devil.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

DVD and Goliath - "When Harry met Sally on widescreen, mmm"

"I think I know why you've been so stuffed-up lately."

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

"Ezra, we're so screwed..."

"Hopefully our species will survive this cruise."

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Why are direction signs always so bad?

As the three wise men approach the stable, they see shepherds smoking in huddle outside

Made in China

Christmas Scene: Wise man with poor vision offering a gift to a sheep.