Religious Story Enthusiast Gifts

"We've left the receipts in the bags in case you want to exchange them..."

John Bunyan

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Regifts of the Magi

''Tree of Knowledge,' eh? - Has it been fact-checked?'

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

Holy Bible

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

So … how did you two meet?

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

Bloke orders a pizza as Jesus divides the loafs and fishes

Moses' TV guide.

Adam and Eve in Paradise

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: 'I ran out of pebbles.'

Soldier to David about Goliath: 'You did that with a step, a flick and a follow-through? Talk about high impact exercise!'

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"We don't see ourselves as either a David or a Goliath. We're content to just be the company that manufactures the sling shots."