Religious Stories Gifts

"What do you mean 'Gluten-free'?"

Jesus as a child discovers one of His many peculiarities.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

Little Known Moments In History

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Moses unblocking the toilet.