Biblical Stories Gifts

"Do we have time for this?"

Moses in Connecticut

"I knew the woodpeckers were a mistake."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"It was an accident."

The wise men are followed by an auditor.

"Do you know where Noah kept the bees?" "In the ark hives?"

"Don't worry" he says "I know a shortcut that will get us there with plenty of time"

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

This will be an awesome profile pic!

Let's stick to 'No room at the inn' and leave out 'Have you tried the internet?'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

Surf's up!

Noah's Architect

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

The Parting of the Red Maze

"Oh, great. Now I'll be late for work."

'Have you picked out a girl's name just in case?'

David, Goliath and Mom.

'Sorry, no carbs.'

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

'Good news, your server is still up!'

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

"Remember when this was just going to be forty days and forty nights?"

"To finance an ark that size I'll have to hold a telethon!"

"Next time, before buying expensive gifts, be sure there's enough money left to rent your own camels."

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

"Look, I'm bored, you're bored – why don't you let me go down there and shake things up a bit?"

'Did you get it wet?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'You built this with our venture capital. Now we would like our 60%.'

Lot took a small piece of his wife as a keepsake, and because goat meat tended to be bland.

"Oi! You two! Knock it off!"

"So much for online B'n'Bs, this guy's getting negative feedback."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'