Bible Stories Gifts

Loaves and Fishes - Buy 2 get 5000.

'S**t!'

"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."

"Well, now the flood warning's been downgraded to just a light mid-afternoon sprinkle."

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

On the Seventh Day

"Behold! A most unusual star in the East." "Could be trouble." "Let's not get involved." Three very wise men.

'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

If it had been today...

'Lazarus, I'll raise you.'

'You've got the wrong man, I tell you! -- I'm John the METHODIST!'

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

Moses separating his Laundry.

'I don't have a thing to wear!'

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'While we're at it - let's cruise the Bahamas!'

Stress Management.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'He promises us manna and give us commandments - Classic bait-and-switch!'

The creation of the duck billed platypus.

1600 BC: The flood waters eventually subside.

Haman as a child

David loses focus for just a moment: 'Wow a petoskey stone.'

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

There are extenuating circustances when you consider that the apple was covered in dark chocolate and rolled in macadamia nuts....I'm only human.'

'A free forty day cruise? There's gotta be a catch.'

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

'Is it just me, or does it also bother you guys that he eats animals crackers?'

Regendering Christmas

'When this is over with, I'm going to need a LOT of aromatherapy!'

"He tells me to build an arch, and so I do, but I just can't see how it's going to help in all this rain."

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

'869 years isn't old, Methuselah. You're good for another hundred years.'