Biblical Stories Buff Gifts

The Eyes of Herod - Influenced by Whistler's Peacock Room

Adam and Eve and Courtney

Hunka, Hunka Burning Bush.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Bible Bloopers

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'