Bible Stories Buff Gifts

The Last Supper in a restaurant.

'So Jonah, how long have you felt like a man trapped inside a whale's body?'

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"The hyenas started it."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'Look man, no wings!'

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'