Bible Stories Buff Gifts

The Last Supper in a restaurant.

'So Jonah, how long have you felt like a man trapped inside a whale's body?'

"Uh oh! I just remembered we were supposed to pick up the midwife."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Snake in the grass...

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'