Biblical Tale Buff Gifts

I know, right? People who go by one name are so pretentious.

Slow Day In The Garden Of Eden.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'