Biblical Buffs Gifts

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"We got knocked back on flood insurance they claim it was an act of God."

"So kind of him to let us have the guest ark all to ourselves."

Adam AND Eve? --- That should thicken the plot!

Death (The Holy Bible).

Jerusalem's Got Talent

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

'Hey Moses - that's cheating!'

"And the rest is history..."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Look man, no wings!'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

Caption Contest TK

"Believe me it's only an apple."