Biblical Buffs Pillows

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"We got knocked back on flood insurance they claim it was an act of God."

"So kind of him to let us have the guest ark all to ourselves."

Death (The Holy Bible).

Jerusalem's Got Talent

'Hey Moses - that's cheating!'

"And the rest is history..."

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"Wasn't it follow one star to Bethlehem?"

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

TSA Noah

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Adam and Eve, as old people.