Bible Buff Gifts

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

'Sorry, but we're looking for more diversity.'

'At this time, I'd like to point out some of the safety features and emergency exits that our craft is equipped with...'

Moses' Reading Glasses

''Commandments' is fine. But why not jazz it up and call them 'The top ten no-no's'?'

I'm afraid it's time for you to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's,

"That's not what I said."

"Go forth and multiply"

"Nothing about selling inside trade secrets?"

'You built this with our venture capital. Now we would like our 60%.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'Is this your picture of the flight out of Egypt?'

'We'll need a supreme court or something to interpret these.'

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

'Don't you think they'd be better off in the water?'

'Well, I don't know how you managed to mistake poison ivy for a fig leaf!'

'It didn't work -- the Egyptians ate the frogs and locusts!'

"Now that you mention it, the Roman numerals do seem a little ominous."

"You're positive we don't need these notarized?"

'I thought we were going to IMPROVISE!'

Unrecorded Miracle: Jesus' Herding of the 5000 Cats...

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Sorry, I'm John the Lutheran. The guy you want lives out in the wilderness."

'Alright, we'll invest in your project, Noah, assuming we can serve on the board.'

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

Noah on the Ark: Bugger.

"Frankly, Moses, we're looking for someone a bit more dynamic. Show the Egyptian in on your way out."

"Locusts don't sound too bad compared to spinach."

Who was the strongest man in history? Jonah, even a whale couldn't keep him down!

"Okay, we get it - You're a social conservative!"

'They like the manna, but they're afraid you're fattening them up for something.'

'We have to build an ark - It's part of His restructuring plan.'

"So it's a case of he said, she said, it said."

Young Jesus learning to walk on water with waterwings around his ankles.

'There goes Methuselah again, cackling about all his lifetime subscriptions.'