Biblical Epic Buff Gifts

'I warned you. The bigger they come, the harder they fall.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

TSA Noah

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

Caption Contest TK

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Snake in the grass...

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Even More Disciples'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"