Bible Buffs Gifts

MAKE ME PROUD OF YOU! 'We may want to include more specific instructions.'

'Are we there yet?'

'The sad thing is, Jonah's so afraid of the water now, he won't even take a bath.'

'Honey, have you seen my fig leaves?'

Wilderness GPS

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

And on this day, God created children.

'My people told me if I submit this through the proper channels, they'll consider it and get back to me, but only if they're interested!'

'No need for a decision, King Soloman, we can do a DNA test.'

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Still not sure why Moses wanted a flint knife, or what exactly circumcision is..."

Suddenly...something seemed to be funny.

"I didn't say, 'Abandon sheep'."

Moses as a kid.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"The hyenas started it."

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Bible Bloopers