Bible Verse Buffs Gifts

The Lord giveth. The Lord taketh away. Joe giveth back.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

Snake in the grass...

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Even More Disciples'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.