Biblical Buff Gifts

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

"Do I have one too?"

Moses parts water on the fairways.

Can Jesus come out and pray?

So that's the first 10. who's up for the next 603?

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

First Plagiarism

"They're prototypes. Eventually they'll be touchscreen."

'You're right, doc. Looking back, I've always turned to salt.'

Stress Management.

"Oh come on fella's. I said I'd let you know!"

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

'See you next week Lazarus.'

"And a little something for the wife."

'A free forty day cruise? There's gotta be a catch.'

'Yes, all at once!'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'I could get you planning permission for a block of flats on your garden.'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

'Aren't you a little worried all that begatting will get out of hand?'

'No, it's definitely not a living document!'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

Clickbait Moses- "Thou won't believe the 10 #life hacks to avoid eternal damnation"

'Just in case, is there a 'Plan B'?'

Moses Breaking the Tablets (The Holy Bible).

'It's too LATE for an apology!'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

Wash and Let My People Go

Noah's Publisher: 'No, I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you to embellish the truth for the sake of marketing...'

Reserved for Apostle of the Month

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

'If Moses had been a committee...the children of Israel would still be in Egypt!'