Biblical Buff Gifts

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"What's the takeaway on all this?"

"Do I have one too?"

So that's the first 10. who's up for the next 603?

First Plagiarism

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

"And a little something for the wife."

"Well, actually, they are written in stone."

'A free forty day cruise? There's gotta be a catch.'

'See you next week Lazarus.'

Stress Management.

"They're prototypes. Eventually they'll be touchscreen."

'I could get you planning permission for a block of flats on your garden.'

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

'Yes, all at once!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'No, it's definitely not a living document!'

Essential Oils/Forbidden Fruit.

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Moses Breaking the Tablets (The Holy Bible).

Reserved for Apostle of the Month

'We've saved the Fauna, but what about the Flora?'

'Lord we worship the water you walk on.'

'Ark, Noah - not arc!'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

Clickbait Moses- "Thou won't believe the 10 #life hacks to avoid eternal damnation"

'Just in case, is there a 'Plan B'?'

Noah's Publisher: 'No, I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you to embellish the truth for the sake of marketing...'

'It's too LATE for an apology!'

'If Moses had been a committee...the children of Israel would still be in Egypt!'

Wash and Let My People Go

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"But it's not the King James Version."

"No way they can deal with all of these at once!"