Bible Studies Buff Gifts

An early case of identity theft

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Yes, all at once!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"OMG, LOL!"

TSA Noah

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Dogma

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Bible Bloopers

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Look man, no wings!'

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.