Bible Studies Buff Gifts

An early case of identity theft

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

TSA Noah

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"OMG, LOL!"

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

Dogma

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Look man, no wings!'

Bible Bloopers

"Believe me it's only an apple."

Caption Contest TK

'The ten commandments have all been reduced to tweets.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"Build it 300 cubits long? I thought you said centimetres!"

"Now tell us, Davey, what kind of rock did you use?"

Snake in the grass...

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.