Bible Story Buffs Gifts

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Animals crossing (to get to the Ark).

Zebras are banned from Noah's Ark when they tried to board the ship dressed as gorillas.

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Loaves and fishes?! Haven't we anything for wheat intolerant vegans?!'

'We'll need a sun for tanning.'

'I'll be back later -- don't let Cain and Abel run around barefoot.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'Are we there yet?'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

Snake in the grass...

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Game time.

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

Danger: Falling animals

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."