Bible Story Buffs Gifts

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'Okay, Noah...I'm going to tell you again. Listen very carefully this time.'

Animals crossing (to get to the Ark).

Zebras are banned from Noah's Ark when they tried to board the ship dressed as gorillas.

"I know it's a really big church, but Goliath was the bad one."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'Loaves and fishes?! Haven't we anything for wheat intolerant vegans?!'

'We'll need a sun for tanning.'

'I'll be back later -- don't let Cain and Abel run around barefoot.'

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"The hyenas started it."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Are we there yet?'

"Maybe you should go make sure we're in the right line."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"We have a potentially serious problem accruing on the poop deck."

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

Snake in the grass...

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

Game time.