Scripture Stories Gifts

Abraham sacrifices Isaac

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

Little Known Moments In History

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

"Believe me it's only an apple."