Divine Stories Gifts

God creates the Great Lakes

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Yes, all at once!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

Little Known Moments In History

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Noah's Ark/Single's Cruise

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

"Believe me it's only an apple."

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

Moses unblocking the toilet.

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'