Divine Comedies Gifts

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Zeus's Caddy

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"Beware of God"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

The Reason for Storms

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"That's my boy!"

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

God's Law.

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."