Divine Comedies Gifts

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Zeus's Caddy

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Beware of God"

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

The Assumption of Mary

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"That's my boy!"

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

The Reason for Storms

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

God's Law.