Divine Comedic Gifts

'Well, actualy, yes... I do think I'm God's Gift to Women.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Zeus's Caddy

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Beware of God"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."