Divine Comedic Gifts

'Well, actualy, yes... I do think I'm God's Gift to Women.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Zeus's Caddy

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Read that last part back to me.'

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Beware of God"

God passing the time.

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'