Divine Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't make the rules, folks -- I just carry them down the mountain.'

"It's God. Are you in?"

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Saint Peter reviews a man's sins.

'That sure was a disaster of a first date!'

New arrivals in heaven confronted by sign 'GO TO HELL'.

And on the seventh day He rested

"Rumour has it, he only got this gig because of who his dad is."

God at the Galalactic Videostore

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

'Ten Commandants? Sure there is some mistake my Lord!'

God's Sharps

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Andy had followed a voice that told him to build the massive vacuum cleaner but he had missed the message to go to Nebraska for the weekend."

Saint Peter using a security screening.

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Well, we'd better review the tapes.'

"First on earth huh, well back of the line you go..."

"It's not my fault I got the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins mixed up!"

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"I brought out the meekness in others."

Angel Stands In Line At Hell's Complaints Desk

The hand of God holding a woollen jumper

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

"Ugh, it rings every time an angel gets his wings - how do I put it in silent mode?"

"Being God just doesn't pay as much as you'd think it would."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

You don't need to say "now I've seen everything" all the time. We get the whole omniscient thing.

'Who told thee that thou art naked?'

'Adam likes being his own boss, does he? - We'll see about THAT!'

'Aren't You afraid these will come across as kind of mean-spirited?'

'Holy crap!'