Divine Comedy Fan Gifts

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

Panic Stations in Heaven's Bakery - 'He needs 5000 loaves of bread and he needs them NOW!'

Zeus reading book titled 'Omnipotent Beings Who Do Too Much.'

'In all fairness, some of these are counterintuitive.'

The focus group thinks it's time you got rid of the beard.

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'Really? - You wrote these with ME in mind?'

'Yikes! It IS open! Hey, thanks a lot!'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'What about all these fish stories?'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

'It's hard to believe that they started out with just SEVEN deadly sins.'

"No you idiot, it's mother Teresa!" 'God didn't play dice but he was a big fan of Pictionary'

'Good shot!'

God's Law.

'James, Simon, wake up... ...the Master is sleep-healing again.'

'Nobody told me anything about pre-registraton!'

'I think your 10 o' clock appointment's arrived.'

'They're misbehaving again. What do we do this time? - flood or global warming?'

"Try this."

'The Joy Of Sending People To Hell'.

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"

In the beginning God created the heavens and SKIP INTRO

Move Over

God, number one.

Scalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates

"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"

'On that Noah thing, just rinse and repeat as necessary.'

Do you really expect to get in here with a resume like this?

"Today will start with mild irritation giving way later to increasing angry, ending with a spectacular display of bad temper"

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

'That's 'Lord' - not 'SLUMLORD'!'

"No office gossip! No sexual harassment of female employees! Nobody to push around! No bonus payments! Man, this place is pure hell!!"

"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."

"I'm sorry, but I heard it as 'build a park'!"