Divine Comic Gifts

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

"And my board approved this?"

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong!''

"Our records indicate you should be in hell. But since you’ve been married for forty years we’ll count that as time served."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Zeus's Caddy

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Beware of God"

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

The Assumption of Mary

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

The Reason for Storms

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"That's my boy!"

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."