Comic Divinity Gifts

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Tiny Visions

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Zeus's Caddy

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Beware of God"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

The Assumption of Mary

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

No, I'm not going to aim at that mouse, either!

"The amendments are coming next week!"

God's Law.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

Dante Alighieri

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'