Comic Divinity Gifts

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Tiny Visions

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

Zeus's Caddy

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"Beware of God"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

God pulling the plug on January 1st 2000

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

God's Law.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

Dante Alighieri

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.