Spiritual Comic Gifts

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

'Sorry about this, but SOMEBODY has to be the Patron Saint of Politicians.'

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"

"Patrick Donovan! It was ten Hail Mary's I was sayin'...not bloody mary's!"

'The church offering was really down this week, we received three I.O.U.'s.'

Clowns In Confession: 'Whoa! Hold it everybody! One at a time! Let's start with you, Chuckles...'

'Press one to speak to God, two to speak to another operator, and three to pass straight into heaven.'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

Damn defibrillators.

Applause

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

You may have hired the best lawyer but I don't think that you can sue God because of a downgoing Dow Jones, sir.

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

'Just remember to get your punch lines in before they fall asleep.'

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

"Closed until further notice."

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."