Spiritual Comic Follower Gifts

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

Support group for sheep.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Spaceship doubling as a cauldron.

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

'The church offering was really down this week, we received three I.O.U.'s.'

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'Yes, and don't call me Shirley.'

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

Nun Birthday Parties. . .

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"And finally, we have about two billion Thank God it's Friday proclamations."

What's your question for Ask Sadie? Should I invest in crypto? Only if you're a nincompoop who can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Besides I was always more partial to Comet the Horse, Streaky the Cat and Beppo the Monkey. Krypto was the most unimaginative pet Superman ever had!!! What? What?

Clowns In Confession: 'Whoa! Hold it everybody! One at a time! Let's start with you, Chuckles...'

"Patrick Donovan! It was ten Hail Mary's I was sayin'...not bloody mary's!"

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"

After-Death Mints

"Hey, what do you know - a lefty."

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'