Spiritual Comic Follower Gifts

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

Support group for sheep.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

Spaceship doubling as a cauldron.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'The church offering was really down this week, we received three I.O.U.'s.'

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

"Hi. I'm Rod. And this is my staff."

"And finally, we have about two billion Thank God it's Friday proclamations."

After-Death Mints

"Abigail! Noooooooo!"

"Patrick Donovan! It was ten Hail Mary's I was sayin'...not bloody mary's!"

"Hey, what do you know - a lefty."

Jesus walks on water (with his dog Saul) "Jesus Christ, slow it down!"

God works in mysterious ways.