Spiritual Comic Enthusiast Gifts

I already know every mundane act of everyone's life

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Billy. The Kid.

"Either that's Marmaduke with a lizard's head in front of us, or I really mixed up my meds."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Being a superhero doesn't mean that everything about me is super you know!'

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

Spiro & Pusho and the Scavenger.

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Bingo's Time Out - Part Three

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Aim for the Stars, Settle for an Asteroid

'If I wasn't meant to destroy the world, God wouldn't have created me with atomic blasters instead of hands.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

Atomic Bear: Part 14

"Mom, come quick. Dad's in a stupor."

Fearless Frog Part 12

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'