Spiritual Comic Admirer Gifts

'Poor Fred -- he thought he'd get his hair back.'

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

Iliadette.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

Cow of BEEF

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'I hate to say this but no amount of analysis is going to help; you need a better cartoonist.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

'What's your poisson?' (Man reading report on Farmed Salmon Toxins Scare).

"God may have forgiven you, but Hoskins, Danner & Smythe, LLC, have not."

'Burf, I think the ants are trying to tell us something.

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'That's the one that attacked me, officer! The one with the stupid look on his face!'

"In heaven there are no trees."

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

"So tell me about your last poop."

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

Things we rarely hear: Bow...er...wow...er..um...woof/like tweet, I mean, y'know, tweet/whatchamacallit moo...

'I liked the loaves he gave out last week better. The ones with the little poppy seeds.'

Money or no money, root of all evil?