Spiritual Comic Lover Gifts

'She ate the apple? That does it! -- the whole place is going condo!'

'Sorry you can't come in. You're Boring.'

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

Paradise

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

No-Work Orange

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

The Food Chain

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Zeus's Caddy

"Seriously, just pull my finger ..."